I got my iphone ! 

woot~!

but i couldn't download games on the app store cause i don't have a credit card and my mom just canceled hers..awesome timing. Sucks ass but its still fun to be able to watch American Dad on the bus. 

Got very moody as it is very boring being an audience. Song list is full so i have to wait for them to sing finish their songs so i can add. Lets do a little math shall we? On average, a song will last about 5 mins. A full list of songs is 30.  30 x 5 = 150. To convert 150 mins to hours, 150/60 = 2.5. So ya... we have 3 hours to sing. By the time i added, well... lets say it is time to pay the bill and i got to sing the last song (how nice of that!) but well.. mood is like getting your head stuffed in the ass (it stinks) so i passed, totally cant sing in full prowess. My voice is not even open at the end of the session, who got mood to sing?

If you were there to choose songs or practice for your singing class then tell me so i wont go.

If i am there to be the guest performer to your concert so you could take a rest then well.. what a great honor to be there! But at least tell me so i can prepare myself mentally for it. 

Mental note to self :i definitely should exclude myself in future sessions because what for go there pay and be audience *shrug*. Oh, i hate ppl say i sing like xiao jing teng, fucking irritating mood killer. "it's like xiao jing teng singing jay chou song lohz~"... oh will you shut the fuck up!? This is the time when no one will say that u are mute if u keep your mouth shut. 

Well..this is me, ranting on my blog cause me doesn't want to bottle this up and to make myself clear. The biggest problem with me is that always whenever I'm not happy with someone or something, i keep quiet and give black face while the person doesn't know and keeps doing it then i'll be branded the mood spoiler cause i black face. This shall end and i need to voice myself out. Take no shit no more. I have been repressing my feelings from the past 20 years. Having to tolerated people's bullshit and repress it with jokes and laughter to make myself happier and when i can't do that, i will be unhappy with myself and the person involved and in turn makes everyone around me unhappy and on top of that, i get blamed too which make me even unhappier. See the cycle?

Sometimes i question myself about the origins of any entity, i questioned why i am the joker i am. I realized i joked so much because i am not a happy person and i want to become a happier person. Others might view me as funny and carefree and even relied on me to cheer them up or worse, took me for granted to "brighten up their day" but the fact is i am already using a tremendous effort to cheer myself up. 

This harmful cycle of using jokes and laughter to repress my unhappiness is taking its toll on me. I need to clear my unresolved unhappiness or else someday it will escalate out of control.

If i got any shit from anyone, i need to learn to throw it back. Repressed feelings needs to be deleted from my dictionary.

The End and Sorry. God bless you all. Peace.